Sad Words for Victims of Spousal Abuse

Good evening, all:

Today I came across a published article written by an old friend of mine, Bob Allen of Associated Baptist Press. The article was about Pastor Rick Warren and the Saddleback Church. The following are excerpts from Allen's article:

LAKE FOREST , Calif. (ABP) -- Rick Warren, the Southern Baptist megachurch pastor chosen to offer the invocation at President-elect Barack Obama's Jan. 20 inauguration, says the Bible does not permit a woman to divorce a spouse who is abusing her. In audio clips on his Saddleback Church website, the Purpose Driven Life author says the Bible condones divorce for only two reasons -- adultery and abandonment. "I wish there were a third in Scripture, having been involved as a pastor with situations of abuse," Warren said. "There is something in me that wishes there were a Bible verse that says, 'If they abuse you in this-and-such kind of way, then you have a right to leave them." Warren said his church's counseling ministry advises separation and counseling instead of divorce in abusive marriages, because it's the only path toward healing. "There's an abusive cycle that's been set up," he said. "Separation combined with counseling has been proven to provide healing in people's lives. So we recommend very strongly separation."

He defined what he meant by physical abuse. "When I say physical abuse, I mean literally somebody is beating you regularly," he said. "I don't mean they grab you once. I mean they've made a habit of beating you regularly. You need to separate in that situation, because that's the only thing that's going to solve that."

Obama's invitation to Warren has been criticized from the left because of his opposition to gay marriage and from the right for giving the president-elect credibility with religious conservatives. But recently his views on domestic violence caught the attention of Because It Matters, a blog by a lifelong Baptist and abuse survivor who uses the pseudonym Danni Moss. Moss said Warren 's commentary "expresses a distinct lack of understanding about the nature, heart and spiritual roots of abuse."

A women's rights blog called The New Agenda called Warren's views "alarming," especially in light of recent statistics showing a 42 percent rise in reports of domestic violence from 2005 to 2007. "Warren 's views give abusive spouses one more tool to control their victims: the Bible," the blog said. The New Agenda said Warren 's teaching "undermines the resolve of women who are debating ending an abusive marriage" and "omits mention of contacting the police, seeking medical attention or obtaining legal assistance to secure orders of protection for yourself and your children."

Being an ordained Baptist minister, as well as a long-time victim advocate, I am experiencing this Warren/Saddleback Theology with dual lenses. I know what it is like to be a student of the Bible and the pastor of a church. I served as a pastor for more than eleven years in two different churches.

I also know what it's like to be a trauma counselor and a victim advocate. I know all too well what it feels like to sit day after day in a "crying room" at Safe Places listening to horrific stories of physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, and even spiritual abuse committed against a woman by the spouse she trusted and loved. So these sad words on the Saddleback website bring up so many personal emotions for me - grief, betrayal, loss, hopelessness, fear, captivity . . . and the list goes on. My primary emotions, though, are two:

One: Deep disappointment in a faith community that does not have any understanding about how to minister to victims of domestic violence OR to the children in these homes whose lives are being forever scarred;

Two: Extreme rage because a minister and a faith community can be so Theologically and Biblically ignorant.

Thanks to Bob Allen for bringing this to our attention. Bob always writes fairly and factually, regardless of his personal opinions. I end with this . . .

May our God forgive us all when we bring our personal biases to our Bible reading, when we fail to care for victims of violence and abuse with compassion and good sense, and when we fail to understand how important it is to hold perpetrators accountable for their evil acts and sinfulness.

Just my thoughts,

Kathy at Safe Places SafeBlog

Note: I would direct you to the writing of The Reverend Al Miles and his book:
Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know
Copyright 2000 Augsburg Fortress
Book Available at Amazon