Barry Nolan Report on Jennifer Collins

Here's another perspective on the story of Jennifer Collins. Safe Places thanks you for reading this and making yourself knowledgeable about the injustices faced by battered women and their children. Again, we ask that you remember our client who is in a similar circumstance.

This Is Really Hard to Believe

By Barry Nolan

January 11, 2009

This is really hard to believe. I am sitting in a room filled with women who were beaten, and violated in terrible ways. The room is not in Bosnia, or some far flung third-world hell-hole. I am in a function room in a hotel in Albany at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference.

Many of the women around me are sobbing now, as a child tells her story. “My father beat me” she begins. Well, she is not a child now actually, but she is a child to me. She is a poised, attractive young woman named Jennifer Collins who is a survivor of child abuse and of a Child and Family Court System that betrayed her and her brother, just as it betrays children across this country every day when it orders children to live full time with an abusive parent.

I know you do not believe me. And that makes me realize that this is the experience that these women who surround me have all had. No one believes them. No one believes this can happen. But it does. Sometimes this happens despite voluminous evidence, eyewitnesses and medical records that the child has been beaten, even raped and sodomized by a parent seeking custody. Sometimes the courts do this even if the parent seeking custody has been convicted of, or admitted to domestic violence or sexual assault. I know you don’t believe me. But you would believe Jennifer if you were here.

It is a strange world in Child and Family court. For instance, even as much energy in the wider world goes into efforts to make certain that sex offenders have no access to children, that they can’t live near a school and walk near a playground, in this odd little corner of our judicial system, courts routinely order children to “reunite” with a sexual predator parent who hurt them. All in the name of family re-unification.

I know this sounds impossible. It is against all common sense. This is America after all. But come sit here with me, and listen to this woman/child tell her story. She has “aged out” of the system and is no longer under the thumb of a court that tells her she must be silent. There is a whole group of courageous kids like Jennifer who are old enough now to tell their story to you, face to face. Jennifer’s story is a pip. And it is pretty typical.

Jennifer tells us about her mother Holly and her dad. He was a batterer who beat Holly. And he beat the children. Jennifer moves her story along quickly to the day when her older brother, then about 4, tried to intervene as dad was beating mom. Dad threw the son against the wall and fractured his skull. There is much more. But I will move the story along quickly to what happens when Holly finally decided to leave this man who beat her and the children. She fled that terrible house, only to find herself in a house of mirrors, the Child and Family Court system.

It is almost as if none of the people who run the Child and Family Court system ever read about or learned a single thing from sad saga of the Catholic Church’s sexual abuse scandal. It’s like they never heard about how victims of physical or sexual abuse are often silenced by their own sense of shame. How their terrible stories can sometimes finally come pouring out in torrents. It may be years later, but it is no less true. This is not theory. This is fact. We have all watched these sad dramas on the 6 O’clock news.

But, uniquely in Child and Family Court, if allegations of physical or sexual abuse are raised during a divorce where custody is an issue, the allegations are used, not against the perpetrator, but against the victim. There is this invented thing, a bit of junk science called “Parental Alienation Syndrome”. It basically says that any time a woman raises the issue of physical or sexual abuse, of herself or the children in the midst of a custody dispute, she is just trying to make the man look bad and make the children hate him. She must be lying.

Look, I am not a fool. I know people lie. I know some women lie. I know people say awful things about each other in divorces. I have watched Jerry Springer just like you. But I have also watched “To Catch a Predator” and I know “respectable” people can do horrible things. So, do a thought experiment here. Pretend you are a woman who had finally left an abusive relationship, taking your children with you. If your controlling soon-to-be ex-husband sought to get full custody of the children as one last slap at you, what would you say? OK? Sure, that sounds fair? Fat chance.

The thing a real court would do when this happened is to consider all the evidence, and talk to all the witnesses. Witnesses like the children. They were after all, there when “it” happened. This is what a court would do if a stranger were accused of beating them. Or raping them. But this is not what the Child and Family Court system does.

Jennifer, the survivor, tells us of the day the representative of the court came to take her away from her mother and take her to live at her dad’s. How she clung desperately to her mother’s leg, until they pried her fingers loose, lifted her up, carried her away, and compelled her to live with the man who would beat her.

Jennifer tells us how her mother, desperate beyond all measure, kidnapped the children, spirited them away to the Netherlands, where they became the first Americans to be granted asylum. How she lived in a refugee camp, with refugees from Somalia and Sierra Leone, people who had to learn how to use toilets and forks. How this was better than “home”. This was a step up. She was with her mom.

Jennifer lived in exile for 14 years. She finally aged out. The court has no jurisdiction now. And so Jennifer had the freedom to come home to America, to this room where I sit, surrounded by women who are now weeping with joy and cheering for Jennifer’s mom for being so brave and for Jennifer for telling her story to this room full of people who know her story is true. Because the same thing happened to them. So they believe her.

I believe her, too.

And so do we.

Kathy Findley at Safe Places SafeBlog

A Story of Injustice - A Tribute to Courage

I am using my Blog today as a tribute to one of our clients. I will not include her name because of a pending legal process that we believe will eventually result in justice for her and her children.

A Tribute

I believe I can speak for the entire staff of Safe Places in offering this tribute to our client - a courageous woman who refuses to give up on her children and their safety.

We pay tribute to a courageous mom who loves her children, and who has persevered in the face of injustice to protect them.

We pay tribute to her children, languishing in the custody of their father, and pray every day for their physical safety and emotional well-being.

We gratefully acknowledge the national advocacy organization that is joining with us to bring justice to this family and restore the children to the custody of their mother.

We will not give up; we will not shrink from the truth; we will not lose heart; we will not stop until this injustice stops!

Now, Jennifer Collins speaks through Safe Places SafeBlog. She is a young woman who is using her voice to tell the story of her family as she describes what she calls "Court Appointed Child Abuse."

Jennifer Collins will share a story that I could not have believed before our own client experienced a similar injustice. Sadly, Jennifer's story is not all that uncommon these days.

This is the story of Jennifer Collins from the following Blog site: http://www.americanchildrenunderground.blogspot.com/

Jennifer's Story

My name is Jennifer Collins. I am a 23 year old American and a university student living in exile in the Netherlands.

My brother (Zachary who is two years older) and I were severely abused by our father when we were children. My father also beat our mother (who was only 22 years old at the time) but she stayed with him because she was terrified. Our father, Mark Collins was extremely violent and he vowed that if our mother ever left him, he would murder us all. This young woman didn’t know what else to do and she tried her best to protect her family. So many times our mom stepped in front of us and took severe beatings which were intended for her children. When my father fractured my brother’s skull by repeatedly slamming him into a wall, child protection became involved and threatened to charge our mother with “failure to protect” if she didn’t take us and leave our father. When we finally left, the child abuse case was transferred from juvenile court to family court. We were granted an ‘Order for Protection’ but we were forced (by the family court) to go alone on visitations with our father. (Child Protection claimed that they no longer had jurisdiction in our case.) Our father regularly beat up our mom in front of us during the exchanges and he continued to abuse us during his visitations.

We told our Mom that our father was still hurting us and she believed us. We would show our mother the bruises when we returned from our fathers and we would beg her not to send us again. She pleaded with the court to protect us but they refused. When my father appeared at our home to pick us up I would cry so hard that I would throw up. Many times my mother would also cry and sometimes she couldn’t bear to make us go with him, but then my father would call the police. The policemen would enter our home and search for us. My brother and I would hide in the closets or under our beds. It was terrifying. The police would pull us out from underneath our beds and hand us over to this man who was beating us as we were kicking, screaming and begging for help.

My father filed for a custody reversal based on Parental Alienation Syndrome and used the police reports as evidence that our mother was interfering in his relationship with his children. Even though the judge found that our father was abusive, in the very same order he issued a reversal of custody, citing that our mother was too traumatized from the abuse to care for us. I was 7 years old when a court officer arrived with my father and pried my fingers loose from my mothers dress. I was fighting with everything I had. Witness heard me screaming “Mommy, Help Me Mommy! Please don’t make us go with him. He hurts me and he hurts my brother!” The court officer simply stated “I know” as he handed me to my father. I continued screaming “Mommy! Help Me! Mommy! I want my Mommy!” It was the worst day of my life!

We weren’t allowed to have any contact with our mom for what seemed and eternity. My father and his new wife told us that our mommy didn’t love us, that she was crazy and she didn’t want us anymore. Even though we knew it wasn’t true, it was devastating. When we were finally allowed to have very limited supervised visitation with our mom I showed my mom and the court supervisor the bruises on my back and said “He’s still hurting us.” The court supervisor scolded me, “You know you are not allowed to talk about those kinds of things anymore.” We started writing notes to our mother at our father’s house and we secretly slipped them into her pockets during the supervised visitations. We kept begging her to come rescue us.

On June 30 1994, I ran away with my 11 year old brother and we met our mother at a parking lot. We fled the United States and were granted asylum in Europe. We lived in secrecy for 12 years until we were publically found by the FBI in 2006. (The US authorities were aware of our location for 12 years, but kept our secret until it became public.) Fortunately I was already 18 and Zachary was 20 but the United States demanded my mother’s extradition from the Netherlands.

The Dutch Government requested an FBI investigation to answer the questions: Were we physically abused by our father? Were we telling the truth about the severity of the abuse? Did my mother exhaust all legal options to protect us? Did our mother reasonably believe that she was honestly protecting us from severe physical danger? The FBI concluded yes to all of the questions! Even though they were adamant that our mother broke the law and should be turned over to the American authorities to face criminal charges, the Dutch Government refused. We were protected under the Hague Convention and we were granted indefinite asylum in the Netherlands.

In November 2007, I started an email campaign and I have sent out over 1000 mails demanding justice for our mother. I also wanted to find a way to hold the responsible officials accountable for the (court appointed) child abuse we suffered as children. I wrote to every US Senator, all of the Minnesota State Representatives, and any organization I could think of.

Eventually all International and Federal kidnapping charges against our mother were dismissed. The ‘parental interference’ charges were dropped as well. My mother was instructed to apologize to the local judge for disobeying his order but she refused. In September 2008 my mother returned to the United States and (I think) she was bullied into plea bargaining to one count of ‘contempt of court.’

Our mother replied “I admit to being in contempt of a court which failed to protect my children.” She completed 40 hours of community service and has been officially released from probation. Our mother is a free woman! Now the same family court judge who failed to protect me and my older brother has issued another warrant for my mother’s arrest for not returning our younger 16 year old brother (from another relationship) to the United States. Despite the conflict of interest, and the fact that he is not presiding in family court, this biased judge refuses to recuse himself.

In the criminal plea bargain with the district attorney, they agreed that they would not bring any future criminal charges against our mother pertaining to our little brother. However the judge has issued a civil warrant demanding my mother to be held incarcerated for contempt of court for a minimal of 6 months. It doesn’t really hold any legal weight, but we are forced to remain in the Netherlands for 2 more years until my brother turns 18.

Surprisingly, I was invited to Washington D.C. and I have met with Congressman Steny H. Hoyer (Democratic Majority leader) and several of his colleagues. I have had numerous consultations with Marlene Kaufmann, General Counsel CSCE (Commission for the Security and Cooperation in Europe, also known as the Helsinki Commission.) I was a key speaker at various conferences around the United States and I have started my own organization, CA3 (Children Against Court Appointed Child Abuse.) I have attained all of the court documents in our case and over 10 boxes of all of the records have been shipped to Washington DC. for investigation and safe keeping. I am working with several leaders and organizations in Washington and nation wide to try to find a way to prevent this from happening to other children. I have had personal interviews with ABC/CBS, Inside Edition and even appeared on a live American Talk Show with Dr. Joyanna Silberg, and Geraldo Rivera opposing a ludicrous cover up of child abuse called PAS (parental alienation syndrome.)

My mother is a remarkably strong, incredible woman and an amazing, loving mother. . . It has been unsettling watching her being pulled back into her past of trying to prove that her children were telling the truth about being abused. We have been advised that her current fears are indicative of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder so I have decided to take over my own case. Now that I have reviewed the court documents, I am even more outraged. The supporting evidence is overwhelming! They knew our father was abusing us and they tried to cover it up. I was determined to find a way to find a way to hold court officers in our personal case accountable although it looks like that is not possible. Even though they have clearly broken the law, they have immunity and can not be held accountable. It is so unfair and I want justice!

I am determined to use our case as an example to initiate change in the family court system and demand protection for children.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Collins

http://www.americanchildrenunderground.blogspot.com/
http://ca3cacaca.blogspot.com/

More to come in the days to come. Until then, we will lift up hope so that our client can see it clearer, and stand beside her in the journey toward justice.

Enraged but hopeful,

Kathy Findley at Safe Places SafeBlog

Love Is Not Abuse!

Just two days after the end of National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week, singer and teen “role model” Chris Brown was arrested for alleged domestic violence felony battery and then released on a $50,000 bond. Police reports reveal that Brown’s girlfriend, Rihanna, suffered contusions and bite marks in the alleged assault.

If you take time to check out some Facebook or MySpace profiles posted by Arkansas teens, you will likely find Chris Brown listed under “favorite music.” I wonder if the singer’s recent behavior will concern any of Brown’s young male and female fans to the extent that they would change their favorites list.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 14.1 percent of Arkansas high school students report being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend. That 14.1 percent represents the fifth highest percentage rate of teen dating violence in the nation.

For students who were physically forced to have sexual intercourse, Arkansas has the highest rate in the nation, 14 percent according to the same CDC study.

In 2007, Brown revealed in an interview with Giant magazine that his mother had been physically abused by his stepfather. "He used to hit my mom," Brown told the interviewer. "He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, 'I'm just gonna go crazy on him one day.' ... I hate him to this day."

We cannot continue to gloss over the correlation between adult domestic violence and violence among young dating partners. We cannot continue to underestimate the lasting and devastating effect of intimate partner violence that is so obviously passed down from one generation to the next. Whether violence exists in an adult or a teen relationship, it reveals a great deal about gender inequality, unhealthy relationships, the abuse of power, the level of self-determination among young women, and a host of other significant issues.

Arkansas’ teen dating violence rates should alert us that teen dating violence is a serious public health concern that poses a significant threat to our children and youth. Arkansas teen dating violence statistics as indicated below indicate that rates of “hitting, slapping or purposeful physical harm” are continuing to increase.
1999 - 10.10%
2001 - 10%
2006 - 13.80%
2007 - 14.1%

(Data Source: 2007 CDC Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey)


A Note to Young People: You deserve to be treated with respect in your relationships. Listen and watch carefully for signs that a dating partner is abusing you. Some of the red flags are:

* Your dating partner is intensely jealous.

* Your partner sends you text messages or calls you constantly.

* Your partner tells you what to do, what you can wear, or where you can go.

* Your partner sneaks on you or monitors your calls or e-mails.

* Your partner frequently shows up unannounced.

* Your partner publicly embarrasses you.

* Your partner frequently accuses you of "cheating" or flirting.

* Your partner keeps you from doing things you enjoy or isolates you from friends and family.

* Your partner threatens to kill or harm him/herself if you break up.

A Stronger Voice for Justice

Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment and Appeals Project (DVLEAP)

Despite the reforms of recent decades, battered women and children continue to face unfair treatment and troubling results in court. Appeals can overturn unjust trial court outcomes – but they require special expertise and are often prohibitively expensive.

DVLEAP empowers victims and their advocates by providing a stronger voice for justice by fighting to overturn unjust trial court outcomes, advancing legal protections for victims and their children through expert appellate advocacy, training lawyers, psychologists and judges on best practices, and spearheading domestic violence litigation in the Supreme Court.

Consider the following joint press release.

Parental Alienation Syndrome Misused to Defeat Valid Abuse Claims in Child Custody Cases

In response to the increased media attention surrounding the release of Alec Baldwin's book entitled, "A Promise to Ourselves," the National Network to End Domestic Violence, the Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment and Appeals Project, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and StopFamilyViolence.org release the following:

(September 29, 2008) Washington, DC - The National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV), the Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment and Appeals Project (DV LEAP), Stop Family Violence, and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, four of the nation's leading domestic violence victim advocacy organizations, call on the media and the courts to rectify the misunderstanding and misuse of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) in custody cases.

"Child custody cases are among the toughest cases courts have to handle. And in custody cases where domestic violence is involved, the judges have an even higher responsibility to ensure that the safety of family members is not dangerously impaired by misleading, and legally unjustifiable,'parental alienation syndrome' theories," said Sue Else, president of the National Network to End Domestic Violence.

"Parental Alienation Syndrome" is a claim that has been used to suggest that some parents try to undermine their children's relationship with the other parent, typically the noncustodial parent, by making false statements about that other parent, most often in the form of abuse allegations. In fact, actor Alec Baldwin made that claim about his own child custody case in a recent interview with Diane Sawyer. "PAS is being used by some abusers as a tactic to demonize parents' attempts to protect their children from abuse, denying victims of domestic violence justice in the courts. The fact that some parents behave badly in ordinary cases is no reason to ignore real abuse when it is presented to the court," also stated Else.

Joan Meier, DV LEAP's Executive Director, said "PAS was invented to defeat child abuse claims - and it has been remarkably successful in misleading family courts into believing that women who are sincerely trying to protect their children and themselves from abuse, are just seeking to end the children's relationship with their noncustodial father."

According to NNEDV, DV LEAP, SFV, and NCADV, victims of domestic violence face a surprisingly uphill battle in family court to win custody of and safety for their children. All too often, courts award custody and unsupervised visitation to parents found to have committed domestic abuse. Many courts handling custody cases do not understand the dynamics of domestic violence and fail to properly factor in the impact of abuse when considering the best interests of the child.

"The most important factor judges should be weighing in making custody decisions is the safety of the mother and children, and the introduction of PAS overshadows this critical need for safety," said Rita Smith, Executive Director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Meier states that research has shown that children become "alienated" from a parent for a variety of valid reasons, most often resulting from the parent's own negative behavior and relationship with that child.

"The proponents of 'parental alienation syndrome' are purveying invalid junk science is not even legally admissible. PAS has been emphatically rejected by the Presidential Task Force of the American Psychological Association and by the National Council of Juvenile & Family Court Judges. Leading researchers in the field of custody have agreed that PAS has no scientific validity and the only courts to address the issue have found it inadmissible," said Meier.

"With the increased media attention surrounding the release of Alec Baldwin's book, it is important to let the public know that victims of domestic violence are being silenced through the use of 'parental alienation syndrome.' We cannot afford to consign thousands of children to unsafe custody or visitation with abusive parents because family courts have come to believe that abuse allegations mean nothing more than a campaign of alienation," said Else.

To learn more about DV LEAP's programs, please click here.

And Justice for Some?

That's the title of Wendy Murphy's book - And Justice for Some.

The book is an expose of the attorneys and judges who let criminals go free. That's my world - a world where criminals go free more often than not. Or so it seems.

I see it from the other side, the victim's side. As a victim advocate, I have the opportunity to see (up close and personal) that the rights of victims are often not protected.

These words are on the dedication page of Wendy Murphy's book:

"To all the victims, win or lose, who fought for justice.

And to the silent ones who didn't even try because they had no faith."

Profound words, especially for those who advocate for victims of violence everyday.

May it NEVER be said of us that we were "the silent ones who didn't even try because we had no faith."

Just my thoughts,

Kathy Manis Findley at Safe Places SafeBlog

Just Some Late Night Thoughts

Today someone told me that she did not feel valued. I have thought about that for several hours and what keeps coming to mind is how very sad it is when one does not feel valued. There is no magic bullet to fix it. Even if it is an irrational feeling, a person feels it none the less. Words cannot change it. Promises cannot change it. Plans to change things cannot change it. Even changing things cannot change it.

I cannot help but think of the millions of people all over the earth who don't feel valued. And the most tragic thing of all is this - for so many of them it is not just a feeling.

For so many folk, feeling unvalued is not a feeling at all, it is their reality.

They feel unvalued because they are unvalued.

Just my thoughts,

Kathy at Safe Places SafeBlog