Love Is Not Abuse!

Just two days after the end of National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week, singer and teen “role model” Chris Brown was arrested for alleged domestic violence felony battery and then released on a $50,000 bond. Police reports reveal that Brown’s girlfriend, Rihanna, suffered contusions and bite marks in the alleged assault.

If you take time to check out some Facebook or MySpace profiles posted by Arkansas teens, you will likely find Chris Brown listed under “favorite music.” I wonder if the singer’s recent behavior will concern any of Brown’s young male and female fans to the extent that they would change their favorites list.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 14.1 percent of Arkansas high school students report being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend. That 14.1 percent represents the fifth highest percentage rate of teen dating violence in the nation.

For students who were physically forced to have sexual intercourse, Arkansas has the highest rate in the nation, 14 percent according to the same CDC study.

In 2007, Brown revealed in an interview with Giant magazine that his mother had been physically abused by his stepfather. "He used to hit my mom," Brown told the interviewer. "He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, 'I'm just gonna go crazy on him one day.' ... I hate him to this day."

We cannot continue to gloss over the correlation between adult domestic violence and violence among young dating partners. We cannot continue to underestimate the lasting and devastating effect of intimate partner violence that is so obviously passed down from one generation to the next. Whether violence exists in an adult or a teen relationship, it reveals a great deal about gender inequality, unhealthy relationships, the abuse of power, the level of self-determination among young women, and a host of other significant issues.

Arkansas’ teen dating violence rates should alert us that teen dating violence is a serious public health concern that poses a significant threat to our children and youth. Arkansas teen dating violence statistics as indicated below indicate that rates of “hitting, slapping or purposeful physical harm” are continuing to increase.
1999 - 10.10%
2001 - 10%
2006 - 13.80%
2007 - 14.1%

(Data Source: 2007 CDC Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey)


A Note to Young People: You deserve to be treated with respect in your relationships. Listen and watch carefully for signs that a dating partner is abusing you. Some of the red flags are:

* Your dating partner is intensely jealous.

* Your partner sends you text messages or calls you constantly.

* Your partner tells you what to do, what you can wear, or where you can go.

* Your partner sneaks on you or monitors your calls or e-mails.

* Your partner frequently shows up unannounced.

* Your partner publicly embarrasses you.

* Your partner frequently accuses you of "cheating" or flirting.

* Your partner keeps you from doing things you enjoy or isolates you from friends and family.

* Your partner threatens to kill or harm him/herself if you break up.